Sunday, 7 July 2013

Celebrity to take pre-season training?

Unconfirmed rumours are circulating on t'internet that a celebrity may co-host pre-season training some time this week.

The story follows last season's revelation that celebrity **** Jeremy Kyle gave a teamtalk to the League Two club. Southend went onto lose at home to Morecambe, the type of game that chairman Ron Martin no doubts thinks Southend should be winning.

Lack of goal-den Brown
Now, with pre-season training just under way, social media platform twitter was suggesting that radio presenter and part-time manager Phil Brown might take a break from promoting himself in the media to take a training session. The move, which has not been confirmed by the club, would see TalkSHITE host Brown escape the alcoholic fumes of Alan Brazil on the morning show to "co-host" a training session for the beleaguered basesement dwellers.

TalkSHITE's greatest ever pundit is Stanley Victor Collymore, a Southend legend, but the revered star is widely considered to be innocent of any involvement in this.

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Football Clubs to pay police costs of Thatcher's funeral

 Football clubs should pay the full cost of policing Margaret Thatcher's funeral, according to the sport's most senior police officer in England and Wales.

Only the bill for policing inside grounds and the immediate vicinity is currently met by clubs.

Assistant Chief Constable Andy Holt, the lead on policing football for the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo), has said football clubs should pay for all costs related to the occasion.

He told the BBC: "It's my personal view that we should have full cost recovery." But The Football League has said fans pay taxes to cover police costs, and should not "pay twice for policing".

Research commissioned by Acpo found that in four out of five clubs studied there were "significantly elevated counts of crime" on match days in an area covering one kilometre from each ground. This is likely to pale into insignificance when compared to the scenes surrounding Mrs T's state funeral.

The Jill Dando Institute of Security and Crime Science at University College London compared crime statistics for five stadia from 2005-10. The research was published in February last year before Mrs Thatcher's recent demise.

Mr Holt said: "Our experience in policing shows that football matches tend to lead to an increase in crime and disorder in the areas surrounding football grounds.

"This research supports this view and suggests that the area affected by increased criminality extends further than the area in which clubs contribute to the costs of policing.

"There are no plans to change the guidance which covers how police forces recover the costs associated with football policing from clubs.

"However, this study provides a further understanding of the effect that football matches can have on crime within our communities and will help inform the service should any future discussions take place on recovering costs associated with policing football."

The funeral of the leader who instigated and partially implemented the controversial Taylor Report is due to be held on 17th April.

The Football League said that supporters were entitled to police services provided by the state, and said the sport contributes more than £1 billion each year in taxes.

The organisation said in a statement: "Costs incurred away from the ground that are deemed necessary are covered by the state - it's what people pay their taxes for, with English professional football contributing more that £1 billion a year to the Treasury, let alone the tax paid by the millions of fans who attend Premier League and Football League games during the season, and who are of course entitled, like all citizens, to police services as they go about their lawful business.

"This long-established principle applies to all individuals and organisations in the UK, from private individuals to shopping centres, pubs and major events, like the Notting Hill Carnival.

"Our clubs work well with their local police forces to make sure that the call on their resources is as little as possible."

 The statement, which was agreed with the Premier League, said clubs had invested heavily in stadia, CCTV and stewarding over the past 15 years to reduce the number of police required to ensure public safety. No such arrangements have been made at Westminster Abbey although lots of anti-terrorist road blocks have been erected. It's believed Sinn Fein and Al-Qaeda have still to be billed for these.

It added: "We are always happy to discuss how it might be possible to further reduce costs, or indeed how football can help the police tackle youth crime, but we fail to see why football fans should pay twice for policing."

Mrs Thatcher's funeral will be an all-seated occasion with no standing room permitted. ID cards will be required and opposition supporters will be segregated from each other in an attempt to stop the in-fighting that allowed Mrs Thatcher to win her then unprecedented three terms.

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Brown appointed: fans react

Chairman Martin Ron rambles incoherently - EXCLUSIVE TO ALL PAPERS

Chairman Martin Ron rambles exclusively and with erratic punctuation to the Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk The decision I have had to make today was a very hard call but one I instinctively know is correct and in the best interests of Southend United Football Club's chief shareholder, South East Lesiure Ltd's chief shareholder Dawn Martin plc's chief shareholder, Martin Ron. Most people associated with the Club are currently thinking of “the day out” at Wembley. The 7th April will be a Special Day, a day in the Club’s history….a day for the Town of Southend and a day for the manager, who I have invited along as mascot (provided he pays for his kit - note Paul that doesn't say kilt!) I too will look forward to “our day out” but as Chairman my responsibility and focus must also be on the wider interests of “Martin Ron”. The primary objective last season and again this season was get the fans off my back. The Manager and Players have understood that from the outset. We came up short last season in the Play Offs and the recent results against relatively low League teams such as: o Accrington o Barnet o Wimbledon o Plymouth and o Torquay have not been good enough…..2 points out of 15 by any standard is poor. ALL these Teams’ tax bills are settled considerably earlier than Southend United’s and 4 out of the 5 teams are around half of what I or my numerous chief executives (has the latest one quit yet? - MR) have invest in “its” Squad by imposing marquee signings like Freddy Eastwood and Neil Harris in an attempt to fill seats. The amount of investment in these players must be one of the fundamental criteria for success – otherwise I could argue that by cutting the Clubs budget in half we should still expect promotion. Our investment has enabled the Manager to build a squad both last year and this year of having more, quality, players at his disposal than most Teams in the League. Therefore in the event of injury or suspension other players were readily available to “step up to the plate” and prove themselves. Except when I sold Kane Ferdinand and we had only one central midfielder for the start of the season and were under embargo so we couldn't get anyone in. All Teams in football have injuries and when that has happened at Southend we have "supported" the Manager too late. The Board has recently sanctioned an additional six players (5 loanees) to help maintain the challenge at the top end of the Table, although let's not too many questions about why Ben Reeves and Tam Mkandawire's loans did not go through in time for the Wimbledon game one of the games I say we should have won. However the form, just as it did last season, has dropped off when it should have been pushing for automatic promotion - it was almost as if the new players didn't have time to settle! Let’s be clear, promotion should always be a realistic prospect for Southend United in League 2. We are not a League 2 Club even though we have played in the basement division for much of the club's history. Promotion has always been the first priority except when we desperately needed to beat Orient in the Area Final in order to get the Wembley gate receipts needed to pay off the tax-man before our latest visit to the winding up court and so the Manager rushed back from injury his two most experienced defenders who subsequently ended up missing the rest of the season and the Manager has always known that. If one knew nothing of football one could reasonably expect to win all the above games and that would have seen us currently 2nd in the League Table…even 12 points would have seen us in the Automatics. So we're obviously not that far off and the margin between success and failure is fine. However with just 2 points out of 15 when judged against that arbitrary selection of 5 games it ignores that we won away at high flying Port Vale during that period and have taken 5 points from the last 15 obviously still not great but not sufficient to be sacked hence the random choosing of those five matches out of context. Paul Sturrock’s three year contract comes to an end this season and The Club will not be renewing Paul’s contract. Paul’s first year was difficult after I tied his hands behind his back but the last two seasons he has had a free hand to achieve the clear objective of getting the Club out of this League with only the one tied behind his back - at least most of the time. No matter how much I personally wrestle with the positive arguments (Paul is experienced, a nice man, honest and likeable) and is better than the alternatives named so far my responsibility is to myself and the disappointing season ticket renewal numbers which leaves me short of cash. If the Club were to appoint a different Manager during the Close Season the new man would have no opportunity to assess the ability of the current squad of players in, and crucially, a competitive environment. That would mean that we would start next season with uncertainty, inevitable changes and a loss of continuity as he got to grips with each players ability (strengths/weaknesses), the individual characteristics and how those temperaments mould within the squad as a whole. Instead, with the season over we will see the players compete in midtable games with nothing riding on them and suffer from a lack of continuity next season after the new man brings in his own signings. The next 7-8 games (at least) is an opportunity for the players to prove their ability. After all, one can change a manager on just 5 games in nearly three seasons so 7-8 games is plenty to judge players. I have not lost faith in this Squad, they are good people who haven't griped when I've paid them late, with talent and many capable of playing at a higher level and who will no doubt now walk away at the end of the season to do so. I would like to keep much of the Squad together but it is now up to each and every player to prove beyond any doubt that my faith in the new Manager, is not misplaced. The Club as I say above will not be renewing Paul’s contract at the end of this season and will appoint a new Manager tomorrow to ensure interest in season ticket sales are protected and tickets are sold in advance both now and from the first day of next Season. They say “there is no money to be made in football” I do not agree, we are all human and have to understand the emotions influenced by our decisions. The decisions here are, as I say at the beginning of this Statement, driven by the wider interests of Southend United…..its success and growth whilst remaining conscious of what is fair and just. These may not be sentiments consistent with what I've done but it is the way I want this Club to be run and you don't get a say. For all these reasons I have suggested to Paul he leads the Team out and manages them at Wembley. He has earned that privilege and agreed to be mascot for the day. Martin Ron Chairman

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Exclusive 2010-2011 season memorabilia offer

Missed this year's big event? The Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk are pleased to present for sell by auction to our discerning readers the ultimate in sports memorabilia:

Authentic Cutlery from the West Ham United end of season dinner




*Ideal for anyone who failed to get Demba Ba's autograph
*Comes in presentational police exhibit evidence bag

Estimated cost: a mere £80,000,000


Going.... going.... going.... down.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Southend poised to sign Jones on loan?

With the transfer deadline looming, rumours are circulating Roots Hall that the forward Southend United are chasing on loan is former West Ham striker Steve Jones.

The move follows pressure from fans to revive the fortunes of the Essex side who are currently lying 13th in the table.

Signing the veteran Jones would meet Paul Sturrock's wishes that any new frontman would be experienced, as he seeks to learn from history, having signed the inexperienced Waide Fairhurst, Nathaniel Jarvis and that one from QPR whose name escapes me, for spectacularly unsuccessful loan spells already this season.

However a stumbling block would be the wages of former Benfleet based front man, especially with the League Two side struggling to pay players and the tax man. Nevertheless fans took time out from calling for owner Ron Martin to go over his financial mismanagement of the club, to demand new signings to boost squad numbers.

The Southend Afternoon Echo will be the first to bring you the news should Southend manage to sign the new Steve Jones on transfer deadline day.

Friday, 4 March 2011

EXCLUSIVE: Ron Martin goes to jail

Controversial Southend United Chairman Ron Martin sensationally has gone to jail, the Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk can exclusively report.

The immacutely haired club owner who has been interviewed by the police over allegations made by his cleaner and also on suspicion of money-laundering and corruption
- although the Southend Afternoon Echo is eager to add no charges were brought on either occasion - sensationally went today to Chelmsford Prison to collect disgraced winger Ryan Hall, who was released on bail pending an appeal over his 20 week sentence for affray.

Ryan Hall will now reportedly be available for both Saturday and Tuesday's crucial encounters for the promotion chasing League Two side.

Ron Martin has been convicted of no offence.