Celebrity to take pre-season training?

Unconfirmed rumours are circulating on t'internet that a celebrity may co-host pre-season training some time this week.

The story follows last season's revelation that celebrity **** Jeremy Kyle gave a teamtalk to the League Two club. Southend went onto lose at home to Morecambe, the type of game that chairman Ron Martin no doubts thinks Southend should be winning.

Lack of goal-den Brown

Now, with pre-season training just under way, social media platform twitter was suggesting that radio presenter and part-time manager Phil Brown might take a break from promoting himself in the media to take a training session. The move, which has not been confirmed by the club, would see TalkSHITE host Brown escape the alcoholic fumes of Alan Brazil on the morning show to "co-host" a training session for the beleaguered basesement dwellers.

TalkSHITE's greatest ever pundit is Stanley Victor Collymore, a Southend legend, but the revered star is widely considered to be innocent of any involvement in this.