Echo Exclusive: Local team set to win World Cup

Whilst most of the country celebrated England's stunning victory over Croatia in Friday night by going overboard in suggesting that England would now win the world cup, it was extra special for fans of one local (sic) team.

As everyone knows - because delusional W*** H** fans (Ed: tautology) keep on banging on about it in the hope that if they repeat it enough times it might become true - W*** H** "won" the World Cup in 1966 because Bobby Charlton, Alan Ball, Gordon Banks etc were crap and contributed nothing.

Now W*** H** look like repeating the trick of "winning the World Cup" for a second time because England happen to have qualified with W*** H** providing reserve keeper Rob Green and back-up centre-half Matthew Upson.

With the W*** H** academy having also provided the likes of Frank Lampard (only fulfilled his potential once he moved to Chelsea, despised by Hamsters for moving onto a bigger club); Jermaine Defoe (illegally poached from Charlton, reviled by Hamsters as a Judas); and the dozy defensive duo of Rio Ferdinand and Glenn Jonhson (who are liable to nod off at any moment, that is if Rio remembers to turn up in the first place) we are now set to have to put up with more of this bollocks about the academy of football.

The revelation that Fabio Capello's second cousin's aunt's dog once met the Krays, will only strengthen this link. One Hamster fan took time out of trying to disgrace English football through their riot with Millwall, to add "If Fabio's cousin once met the Krays that's good enough for me. It's well known that Ronnie was an Iron, so Fabio may be Italian, but he's one of us, innit."



Related news

W*** H** to sell World Cup?

W*** H** today confirmed that if they win the World Cup again, like they supposedly did in 1966, that they would sell it. A spokesman said it was in-line with their policy not to hold onto anything valuable, and that if you lived round here, you wouldn't keep anything valuable on you either.

The spokesman went onto dismiss suggestions that it would be difficult to sell without ownership papers, noting that not having the correct paperwork never stopped the Tevez transfer and that even if they got caught, the Premier League would let them off with a slap on the wrist again.