Breaking News: Blues' stadium to leave room for running track

In a sensational development it's been announced that the new Fossetts Farm stadium will include room for a running track.

It what's thought to be a homage to the London 2012 Olympic legacy and a cheap* joke at W*** H**'s expense, the ground is to include room for a running track by leaving an entire stand unbuilt.

By building a three sided ground there will also be room for a golf course, a swimming pool or probably just some more houses.


More to follow



*25% off the build price

Martin's Ambitious (Tax) Return

Southend United Chairman Ron Martin has urged Blues fans to boycott their taxes as he tries try to bring about his dream of a shiny new stadium.

All but a few of the final building blocks (although sadly still no literal ones) are in place for Southend to begin work on their new stadium this year.

However, it appears Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs is trying to stall the whole development and Martin is urging them to be less taxing on the league one side's cash-flow.

"Everybody has been working so hard to try and get the new development going it's frustrating that its being held up by the tax man expecting us to pay our tax" said Uncle Ron.

"As soon as the stadium gets going I will have the funds to really improve the squad and authorise the signings of more Alex Revells and Kevin Betsys (as maybe even pay our tax bill!) and then the future will start to look really bright.

"A real PAYE tax system would be one that I actually pay!" quipped Martin.


NEXT WEEK: Ron Martin calls for fans to boycott winter, as fixture cancellations stretch the Blues' cash-flow even further and threaten to delay the new stadium.

http://www.southendunited.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10444~1927211,00.html
http://www.southendunited.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10444~1932006,00.html

Southend joins 2018 World Cup bidding

The Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk can exclusively reveal that Southend has made a dramatic late bid to become a 2018 World Cup host city.

The ambitious plan will make use of Southend United's state of the art new stadium at Fossetts Farm, which is due to be completed in 2019.

The bid is seen as the centre-piece in making Southend a modern sports metropolis. It also follows hot on the heels of news that Hadleigh will host the Olympics and Essex County Cricket Club will play their matches at Garons Park whilst the County Ground in Chelmsford is being redeveloped.

To support the bid, the town has rolled out a whole host of former world cup stars with links to the town, such as Efetobore Sodje (Nigeria), Mike Lapper (USA) and Ronnie Whelan (Ireland).

A Southend 2018 official offered an insight into the depth of planning that has gone into the bid: "the plan is to have Ronnie propping up the bar chatting to delegates who like a tipple; Efe will go round grinning and glad-handing; whilst Mike Lapper is to don a pair of plastic tits to neutralise the Gazza effect [Paul Gascoigne is a Newcastle-Gateshead bid ambassador]. We're pretty confident, after all we've got the Olympics and three first class cricket grounds [Garons Park, Southchurch Park and Chalkwell Park] in the town, so a football world cup is the next logical step."

With Hollywood and Southend legend Andy Ansah lending his expertise to the promotional video and thick-lipped, cockney twat and part-time chef, Jamie Oliver, who was born in Southend, promising not to get involved, signs are looking good for the 2018 bid.