Southend joins 2018 World Cup bidding

The Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk can exclusively reveal that Southend has made a dramatic late bid to become a 2018 World Cup host city.

The ambitious plan will make use of Southend United's state of the art new stadium at Fossetts Farm, which is due to be completed in 2019.

The bid is seen as the centre-piece in making Southend a modern sports metropolis. It also follows hot on the heels of news that Hadleigh will host the Olympics and Essex County Cricket Club will play their matches at Garons Park whilst the County Ground in Chelmsford is being redeveloped.

To support the bid, the town has rolled out a whole host of former world cup stars with links to the town, such as Efetobore Sodje (Nigeria), Mike Lapper (USA) and Ronnie Whelan (Ireland).

A Southend 2018 official offered an insight into the depth of planning that has gone into the bid: "the plan is to have Ronnie propping up the bar chatting to delegates who like a tipple; Efe will go round grinning and glad-handing; whilst Mike Lapper is to don a pair of plastic tits to neutralise the Gazza effect [Paul Gascoigne is a Newcastle-Gateshead bid ambassador]. We're pretty confident, after all we've got the Olympics and three first class cricket grounds [Garons Park, Southchurch Park and Chalkwell Park] in the town, so a football world cup is the next logical step."

With Hollywood and Southend legend Andy Ansah lending his expertise to the promotional video and thick-lipped, cockney twat and part-time chef, Jamie Oliver, who was born in Southend, promising not to get involved, signs are looking good for the 2018 bid.