Mystery solved at Wembley

So that is what Zoltan Liptak looks like.

Club have nothing better to do than sit around and read Shrimperzone

In dramatic news today, it emerged that the club has, like most of us, nothing* better to do with our time than sit around and read SZ and/or twitter.

Within 3 hours of the Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk breaking the exclusive story about squad numbers (following a tip-off on leading football web-site Shrimperzone), the club was forced to issue a climatic backdown and deny the intrepid Phil Christopers' scoop by printing the actual squad numbers.

The Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk would like to apologise to all Southend fans who rushed to the club shop to have Blair Sturrock "12" printed on their shirts.



*Other than signing 3 players, but the Barker and Simpson loan deals were done last week and I still have no idea who Adam Bouzid is.

Southend set to announce squad numbers

With the transfer embargo just hours/days/months away from being lifted ahead of the new season, Southend United are set to announce the new squad numbers for the 2010/2011 season.

With only one player remaining from 12 months ago, it's set to be all change with every number except for 7 up for grabs. And whilst some of the key numbers have still - according to the club's official website - to be assigned, it seems that the likes of Sean Clohessy, Peter Gilbert, Craig Easton, Barry Corr and Sofiene Zaaboub have all already been handed numbers.

Of those given numbers, the biggest story is the coveted number 12 shirt. The Blue Voice were believed to be keen on becoming the official 12th man, but instead the 12 shirt appears to have been handed to the manager's son, the oddly named Blair Sturrock.

An unnamed, made-up, club spokesman explained the decision: "The Blue Voice were keen to be the 12th man and the club were keen for the number 12 shirt to represent the club's support. We're confident that the reception that will greet Blair - who's already been written off as useless by many and only signed because of who his father is - when he finally makes his Southend debut, will achieve just that."

"I mean what says loyal supporters better than booing a player before he's even kicked a ball for us? So whenever I hear 'coming on for Southend United, number 12 Blair Sturrock, boooooo' I will instantly think of the fans."

Ron elected to League Board

Southend Chairman Ron Martin has been elected to the Football League Board.

Whilst the move will come as a shock to many who will question the wisdom of appointing a man whose club may be wound up before the season, the Southend Afternoon Echo has learnt there were good reasons behind Ron Martin's appointment.

With no London clubs in the division (except Barnet, and if you've ever tried to get there on the Northern Line you'll know they are hardly London) Southend, who will be in town anyway for their weekly appointment at the debtors' section of the High Court, were the natural choice.

The move also negates any concerns over claiming back SUFC's share of Board Members 'travel expenses.

It is unknown whether Mr Martin put himself forward for this prestigious role, or whether he was nominated in his absence when no-one else wanted to do it and someone had the bright idea of giving the role to the bloke who was still on holiday.

Stalk the Blues Day big success/failure

The annual Stalk The Blues day was a tremendous success/ failure with fans from across the county delighted/ furious at the free event hosted at Boots and LacesGarons Park.

Southend fans were United in congratulating/condemning the club for hosting for an event described as "one of the best ones yet"/"a waste of everyone's time" with those delighted/furious supporters vowing to come back next year/get a flag and protest.

The absence of manager Paul Sturrock/the approachability of the squad who gave up their Sunday afternoon to pose for autographs and sign photos with the fans, was commented by many fans on sites such as Shrimperzone.

As kids frolicked in the summer sun, joyfully indulging in the myriad of activities put on by the club, adults were left to rue the lack of a bouncy castle to satisfy them. When asked, Southend fans were quick to congratulate the commercial department for putting on such an enjoyable event and the players for being so cheerful/blame Ron Martin and Billy Jennings for the event not sating their stalking demands and the absence of a bar.

Southend sign "new McCormack"

Southend moved quickly to replace the Tenerife Charlton Reserves bound Alan McCormack when the League Two club announced that Barry Corr had signed a pre-contract agreement.

Corr,who is Irish and has an abysmal disciplinary record, is seen as a like for like replacement for the departed McCormack. Whilst Corr is allegedly a forward rather than a midfielder, he shares with his compatriot a similarly dire shooting record, having netted a mere three times last season. Beleagured residents of Shakespeare Drive reacted with dismay at the prospect, although to be fair it is not yet known whether the former musician will be as wayward.

Fans at McCormack's old club, Mayhem, treated the news with cautious optimism and hoped that the signing was evidence that Southend United was indeed on an upward spiral.

Dave Smith II

As Southend fans attempt to digest news of the sacking of legendary manager Steve Tilson, rumours were mounting regarding his replacement.

As mooted in the Southend Afternoon Echo back in March*, chairman Ron Martin, looks set to appoint a Scottish former Plymouth and Dundee (they are the same as Dundee United, right?) manager in an attempt to turn around the woes.

Southend have had great success with Scottish Plymouth managers, with Bob Jack and Dave Smith both having also managed Plymouth. With Dave Webb, having also cut his managerial teeth in the South West at Torquay, the area is clearly a hot-bed for producing managerial talent, but whoever is in the Roots Hall hot-seat looks like having their work cut-out.


*When we said Dave Smith, we meant Paul Sturrock and when we said assistant manager we clearly meant manager.