Southend to play in stilettos

The Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk can exclusively reveal that Southend United will be playing against Port Vale in stilettos. The revelation follows the success of the white socks that were introduced to give the team a more authentic "Essex look".

Now the club are taking it one stage further by combining it with stilettos. As boss Paul Sturrock explained*: "the stiletto is even more associated with Essex than white socks, plus they give more grip than studded boots."

"As Anthony Grant seems to have trouble standing up in boots, we're hoping he can stop bruising himself when he falls to the floor every time he's tackled, by wearing stilettos.

The 6 inch heels should give more purchase than the usual studs he wears, and will make tackling more interesting. I'm looking forward to it."

The club is also apparently looking at playing around a couple of Alan McCormack's old discarded handbags.



* Please note the Southend Echo Sportsdesk accepts no liability over the accuracy of any Paul Sturrock's statements. To be honest we might as well make it all up, because we haven't got a clue what he's saying either, but he doesn't half say it in a lovely Scottish accent.