Southend to play in stilettos

The Southend Afternoon Echo Sportsdesk can exclusively reveal that Southend United will be playing against Port Vale in stilettos. The revelation follows the success of the white socks that were introduced to give the team a more authentic "Essex look".

Now the club are taking it one stage further by combining it with stilettos. As boss Paul Sturrock explained*: "the stiletto is even more associated with Essex than white socks, plus they give more grip than studded boots."

"As Anthony Grant seems to have trouble standing up in boots, we're hoping he can stop bruising himself when he falls to the floor every time he's tackled, by wearing stilettos.

The 6 inch heels should give more purchase than the usual studs he wears, and will make tackling more interesting. I'm looking forward to it."

The club is also apparently looking at playing around a couple of Alan McCormack's old discarded handbags.



* Please note the Southend Echo Sportsdesk accepts no liability over the accuracy of any Paul Sturrock's statements. To be honest we might as well make it all up, because we haven't got a clue what he's saying either, but he doesn't half say it in a lovely Scottish accent.

Hiatus Appeal Latest

Most of you will already be aware of the news of the hiatus in wages in January that has shocked the world.

News spread quickly, much of it by modern social networking sites, such as Alan McCormack's facebook account, whilst others will have only found out later by more traditional means such as the Southend Afternoon Echo.

News of this has hit many hard, with many people's belief in Ron Martin in particular badly hit. Whilst people come to terms with the scale of this, we ask you to think of this hardest hit. If you could spare some loose change, you could make a difference in the lives of those less well off than yourself.

What your money could buy:

£7.99 - buys a KFC bargain bucket to feed the malnourished Anthony Grant as he recovers from injury
£1.99 - would get some Werther's Orginals for Dougie Freedman to suck on whilst on the bench (300g pack, so should last for multiple games)
£5 (and upwards)- a proper footballer's haircut for Scott Spencer
£3.50 (approx) - a pint for Alan McCormack at Varsity/Mayhem etc to help ease the pain
Undisclosed (but quite possibly free) - Matthew Paterson 
£1 - a novelty comb for Adam Barrett to remind him of better times

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